Why Jack can't love Liz
by Murkay
Summary: Colleen has a heart to heart with her son.


After Colleen's heart attack or whatever it was she was faking, Jack checked his mother out of the ER and makes the decision to extend her to stay over the festive period. He insists there is no need for her to return to Florida, after all the wedding is little over a week away. Jack can hardly believe his irrational decision but the truth is he likes having her there.

Jack opens the door to let his mother in and takes her overnight bag. On lifting the bag he discovers the bag is packed with scrunched up newspapers in order to appear full of clothing. Colleen was well aware that she wouldn't be staying long after her little episode. The house is quiet and empty as Avery has decided to continue with her original schedule of visiting her parents and she now has the job of informing them of her unexpected wedding plans.

Jack takes his mother up stairs making sure she is settled for the night and watches while she drifts off into her narcotic state. Jack takes this opportunity to finally be at peace in his own home. He makes his way to his office; he has used the same replica company as the one in Boston to recreate his office space. He walks over to the drinks table, pours himself a Scotch and takes a seat on the leather couch. Even though the office is an exact replica, there are only a few things missing; firstly the view, one of the great perks about working at 30 Rock is the view, at night Jack missed looking out onto the phallic buildings of the Manhattan skyline and secondly Lemon. Without these two things he couldn't help but feel his replica project was incomplete.

Jack had been sitting a while before the silent echoes of the house are soon filled with the heavy footsteps of his mother making her way downstairs.

'Jackie?'

'I'm in my office'

Colleen has entered to see her son sitting pondering while knocking back his drink. She sees this as an opportunity to sit down and talk with her son, really talk with her son. She can see that he has had a few drinks which might help loosen him up.

'You should go back to bed Mother'

'I am well rested Jack, you know that sleeping is for the weak'.

He looks over to face his mother and present her with an over enthused eye roll. He is quick to stop jesting as her eyes are expressing that she has an agenda, she has something to say, possibly something to ask. Colleen helps herself to a stiff drink to overcome her nerves. Colleen is a battle axe, a feisty woman, but she suspects she will need Dutch courage to ask her pressing question.

'Colleen, why are you looking at my with those mothering eyes, I can't recall ever seeing those before?'

'Jackie...I need you to be straight with me... I need you to tell me the truth...to be honest with me?

In all his years he has never seen his mother so concerned. What was she going to ask, what had he been holding back from her, after all he was a very honest person, in fact he prided himself with this quality and lying was not in his nature and something we hasn't at all good at. Why would he have to lie? He never had to before, he didn't have to lie about how handsome he is, how successful and he had always been open about his sexual conquest even the one night in Paris then a more regretful night in Kathy Hilton. As Jack sits waiting for his mother to ask the question, he could see that with each breath she leaned in closer, leaning in to see the truth in his eyes.

'Before you marry Avery, I need to know one thing?'

Jack looked at his mother with a puzzled look, before he had the chance to think of what might follow.

'I need to know... how you feel about Liz.'

Immediately Jack moves from his seat and out of her direct sight. He couldn't look at her for fear of her knowing straight away what he knew all along. Stalling from the question Jack walks over to the drinks table to refill.

'Jack, your glass is overflowing'

He turned round to face his mother, his head looking into the full glass, as he is not prepared to answer the question.

'Jack, how long have you known Liz? 5 years is it? And in that time, how many thoughtless proposals have you had? The first, hollow bones, then to that Puerto Rican and now Avery.'

'Phoebe and Elisa, she was your Nurse Maid Mother' Jack still not ready to look up from his glass.

'What I'm saying Jack, is that you were always too quick to put a ring on it, not realising that the whole time you were already in the greatest relationship of your life. You're so satisfied and happy with your relationship with Liz that's why you go out looking for horizontal pleasure from those floosies and why you so easily propose to the first woman that says yes'.

'You don't know what you're talking about Mother'

'I don't know what I am talking about?' Colleen feeling the frustration of her son unwilling to give in and listen to her begins to raise her voice. 'Oh so over these years as an observant mother I didn't notice that you kept Liz as a friend and that's exactly it, you kept her as a friend, because if you have her as a friend you get to keep her forever...and that's what you want, you want to keep her forever'.

'Enough Colleen'

'Why can't you love Liz?'

Jack turns round to finally face his mother to take a deep breath and with a whisper answers her.

'If I chance loving Liz, I risk losing her and I can't let that happen'.

As Colleen looks into her son's eyes, she sees the pain inside him for she knows that her son is the greatest of risk takers but the stakes are too high and it is his heart that has folded on the table.


End file.
